Whale Vomit Is All the Rage

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve surely heard about the new craze: whale vomit. Yes, cetaceous puke is all the rage. If you don’t have a dried-up glob of whale vomit on your mantelpiece, then what are you doing with your life?

Just kidding. While whale puke isn’t exactly the next big thing as of now, it could be in the near future. Allow me to explain.

Ambergris, which is technically a strange form of fecal matter expelled by sperm whales, is being affectionately referred to as “whale vomit” after a lucky couple in England came across it on a beach recently.

Despite its strong resemblance to odorless pumice, ambergris is particularly odorous (and not in a pleasant way). However (prepare for a surprising twist), ambergris is considered a valuable commodity on the market because it is used to make (wait for it…) perfume!

Yes, the lucky couple who found the stinkin’ stone of excrement could haul in $70,000 from interested buyers.

On another hilariously ironic note, this “whale vomit” is nicknamed “floating gold,” which is appropriate considering its shockingly high value on the fragrance market.

The moral of the story is that, when walking on the beach, one should never run away from the smelly ball of whale crap. Rather, the lucky passerby should take advantage of his or her good fortune by snatching the dried-up waste off of the sand and listing it on eBay. Soon after, a bidding war between every perfume addict will likely commence, thus earning the lucky passerby a small fortune.

So the next time you pay a visit to the beach, don’t bother hunting for buried treasure with your metal detector. Instead, put your nose to the ground, and sniff your way to some whale poop.